5 Thoughts That Increase Pain in Labor — and What to Think Instead

Pain in labor is not just physical—it’s deeply influenced by what’s happening in your mind.

The way you interpret sensations, talk to yourself, and respond to intensity can either increase tension and pain or help your body stay calmer and work more effectively.

Many women don’t realize that certain automatic thoughts during labor can actually make contractions feel more painful than they need to be.

Let’s look at five common thoughts that increase pain in labor—and what you can gently replace them with instead.

1. “I Can’t Do This”

This is one of the most common thoughts women experience during labor—especially when intensity increases.

Why This Thought Increases Pain

When you think “I can’t do this,” your body interprets it as danger.

This can:

• Trigger fear and panic

• Increase muscle tension

• Activate the stress response

• Make contractions feel overwhelming and unmanageable

Fear and tension amplify pain.

What to Think Instead

“This is intense, but I can handle it—one moment at a time.”

This reframing:

• Acknowledges intensity without panic

• Brings your focus back to the present

• Helps your nervous system stay calmer

You don’t have to believe labor is easy—you just need to believe you can cope with this moment.

2. “Something Is Wrong”

As contractions grow stronger, it’s common to interpret intensity as a sign that something is going wrong.

Why This Thought Increases Pain

Thinking something is wrong:

• Creates anxiety and fear

• Pulls your attention away from your body

• Causes resistance instead of cooperation

• Increases stress hormones that interfere with labor

What to Think Instead

“Strong sensations mean my body is working.”

When you understand that intensity often equals progress, your body can relax into the work instead of fighting it.

Purpose reduces fear—and fear reduction reduces pain.

3. “I Need This to Stop”

When contractions feel intense, the instinct to escape or stop the sensation is natural.

Why This Thought Increases Pain

Wanting the sensation to stop often leads to:

• Fighting contractions instead of riding them

• Holding your breath

• Tensing your jaw, shoulders, and pelvic floor

• Increasing pain perception

Resistance makes pain louder.

What to Think Instead

“I can breathe through this and let it move through me.”

Allowing sensations to pass rather than resisting them helps your body stay softer and more open during labor.

4. “I’m Not Coping Well Enough”

Many women judge themselves during labor, especially if it looks or feels different than expected.

Why This Thought Increases Pain

Self-judgment:

• Adds emotional stress on top of physical sensation

• Increases pressure to perform

• Pulls you out of the present moment

• Undermines confidence and trust in your body

Stress increases pain.

What to Think Instead

“There is no right way to labor—I’m doing exactly what I need to do.”

Labor doesn’t require quiet, control, or perfection.
It requires presence, support, and permission to respond authentically.

5. “This Will Never End”

Time distortion is common during labor. Intense contractions can make it feel endless.

Why This Thought Increases Pain

Believing it will never end:

• Creates hopelessness

• Increases panic

• Makes each contraction feel heavier

• Pulls focus away from the present moment

Pain feels worse when it feels endless.

What to Think Instead

“This contraction will rise and fall.”

Focusing on the temporary nature of each wave:

• Restores a sense of control

• Makes intensity feel more manageable

• Helps you conserve energy

Labor progresses one contraction at a time.

Why Your Thoughts Matter in Labor

Your brain and body are deeply connected.

When your thoughts signal safety:

• Your body can relax

• Oxytocin flows more easily

• Pain becomes more manageable

• Labor often progresses more smoothly

This doesn’t mean you won’t feel intensity—but it changes how that intensity is experienced.

You Can Practice These Thoughts Before Labor

These mental shifts don’t happen automatically under pressure. They work best when they’re practiced during pregnancy.

By learning how to:

• Recognize fear-based thoughts

• Gently redirect your focus

• Stay mentally grounded during intensity

…you can prepare yourself for a calmer, more confident birth experience.

Final Encouragement

You don’t need to eliminate pain to cope well in labor.
You don’t need perfect thoughts or constant calm.

You just need supportive, grounding thoughts that help your body feel safe enough to do what it already knows how to do.

Want Help Training Your Mind for Birth?

If you want guided tools to:

• Reduce fear of labor pain

• Practice calming thought patterns

• Stay focused and grounded during contractions

My Fearless and Focused Birthing course is designed to help you prepare mentally and emotionally for labor—so fear doesn’t get the final word.

✨ Because what you think in labor matters.

Why Fear Makes Labor Harder (and What You Can Do About It)

If you’re pregnant and feeling afraid of labor, you’re not weak—and you’re definitely not alone. Fear of childbirth is incredibly common, especially in a culture where birth is often portrayed as traumatic, painful, and out of control.

But here’s something empowering to know:
Fear doesn’t just affect how labor feels emotionally—it directly affects how labor works physically.

Let’s look at why fear can make labor harder, and most importantly, what you can do to break that cycle and experience a calmer, more focused birth.

How Fear Affects Labor

Your body is beautifully designed for birth—but it functions best when it feels safe.

When fear enters the picture, your body responds as if you’re in danger.

1. Fear Activates the Stress Response

Fear triggers the fight-or-flight response, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones are incredibly helpful if you need to escape danger—but during labor, they can interfere with the natural birth process.

When stress hormones are high:

• Uterine contractions may become less effective

• Labor can feel more painful and intense

• Progress may slow or stall

• The body has a harder time relaxing between contractions

At the same time, stress hormones suppress oxytocin—the hormone responsible for strong, coordinated contractions and feelings of calm, trust, and connection.

2. Fear Creates Tension (Which Increases Pain)

Fear often causes us to tense our bodies without realizing it—tight jaw, lifted shoulders, clenched hands, holding the breath.

This tension:

• Reduces oxygen flow to the muscles

• Makes contractions feel sharper and more overwhelming

• Works against the opening and softening your body needs for labor

Pain and fear then feed into each other, creating a fear–tension–pain cycle that can make labor feel much harder than it needs to be.

3. Fear Shifts Control Away From You

When fear takes over, many women feel disconnected from their bodies and overwhelmed by what’s happening to them rather than feeling actively involved in the process.

This can lead to:

• Feeling panicked or helpless

• Difficulty focusing or coping during contractions

• Increased reliance on external control rather than inner confidence

The Good News: Fear Is Learnable—and So Is Calm

Just as fear can be learned, calm and confidence can be learned too. You are not at the mercy of your thoughts or emotions during labor.

Here’s what you can do.

What You Can Do About Fear in Labor

1. Understand What’s Happening in Your Body

Fear thrives in the unknown. When you understand:

• What contractions are doing

• Why sensations intensify

• How your body progresses through labor

…fear loses much of its power.

Education reframes labor from something dangerous to something purposeful and productive.

2. Learn How to Relax on Purpose

Relaxation isn’t something that just “happens” in labor—it’s a skill you can practice.

Techniques like:

• Slow, rhythmic breathing

• Releasing tension in the jaw, shoulders, and pelvic floor

• Visualization and mental focus

…help signal safety to your nervous system, allowing oxytocin to flow and labor to work with you instead of against you.

3. Train Your Mind for Birth

Your mindset matters more than you may realize.

Practicing:

• Reframing fearful thoughts

• Replacing panic with focused coping strategies

• Trusting your body’s design

can dramatically change how you experience labor—regardless of whether your birth is medicated or unmedicated.

A focused mind supports a calm body.

4. Create a Supportive Birth Environment

Your surroundings influence your nervous system.

Feeling safe, supported, and respected helps keep stress hormones low. This includes:

• Having people who believe in you

• Feeling heard in your birth preferences

• Minimizing unnecessary distractions or fear-inducing language

Fear Doesn’t Have to Define Your Birth

Fear may be common—but it doesn’t have to be the loudest voice in your labor.

When fear is reduced:

• The body works more efficiently

• Pain becomes more manageable

• Confidence grows

• Birth feels less overwhelming and more empowering

You don’t need to be fearless—you just need tools, understanding, and support.

Want to Go Deeper?

If you want to learn how to:

• Reduce fear of pain

• Stay calm and focused during contractions

• Work with your body instead of against it

My Fearless and Focused Birthing course is designed to help you prepare mentally and emotionally for labor—so you can approach birth with confidence rather than fear.

✨ Because birth is not just a physical event—it’s a psychological one too.