5 Thoughts That Increase Pain in Labor — and What to Think Instead
Pain in labor is not just physical—it’s deeply influenced by what’s happening in your mind.
The way you interpret sensations, talk to yourself, and respond to intensity can either increase tension and pain or help your body stay calmer and work more effectively.
Many women don’t realize that certain automatic thoughts during labor can actually make contractions feel more painful than they need to be.
Let’s look at five common thoughts that increase pain in labor—and what you can gently replace them with instead.
1. “I Can’t Do This”
This is one of the most common thoughts women experience during labor—especially when intensity increases.
Why This Thought Increases Pain
When you think “I can’t do this,” your body interprets it as danger.
This can:
Trigger fear and panic
Increase muscle tension
Activate the stress response
Make contractions feel overwhelming and unmanageable
Fear and tension amplify pain.
What to Think Instead
“This is intense, but I can handle it—one moment at a time.”
This reframing:
Acknowledges intensity without panic
Brings your focus back to the present
Helps your nervous system stay calmer
You don’t have to believe labor is easy—you just need to believe you can cope with this moment.
2. “Something Is Wrong”
As contractions grow stronger, it’s common to interpret intensity as a sign that something is going wrong.
Why This Thought Increases Pain
Thinking something is wrong:
Creates anxiety and fear
Pulls your attention away from your body
Causes resistance instead of cooperation
Increases stress hormones that interfere with labor
What to Think Instead
“Strong sensations mean my body is working.”
When you understand that intensity often equals progress, your body can relax into the work instead of fighting it.
Purpose reduces fear—and fear reduction reduces pain.
3. “I Need This to Stop”
When contractions feel intense, the instinct to escape or stop the sensation is natural.
Why This Thought Increases Pain
Wanting the sensation to stop often leads to:
Fighting contractions instead of riding them
Holding your breath
Tensing your jaw, shoulders, and pelvic floor
Increasing pain perception
Resistance makes pain louder.
What to Think Instead
“I can breathe through this and let it move through me.”
Allowing sensations to pass rather than resisting them helps your body stay softer and more open during labor.
4. “I’m Not Coping Well Enough”
Many women judge themselves during labor, especially if it looks or feels different than expected.
Why This Thought Increases Pain
Self-judgment:
Adds emotional stress on top of physical sensation
Increases pressure to perform
Pulls you out of the present moment
Undermines confidence and trust in your body
Stress increases pain.
What to Think Instead
“There is no right way to labor—I’m doing exactly what I need to do.”
Labor doesn’t require quiet, control, or perfection.
It requires presence, support, and permission to respond authentically.
5. “This Will Never End”
Time distortion is common during labor. Intense contractions can make it feel endless.
Why This Thought Increases Pain
Believing it will never end:
Creates hopelessness
Increases panic
Makes each contraction feel heavier
Pulls focus away from the present moment
Pain feels worse when it feels endless.
What to Think Instead
“This contraction will rise and fall.”
Focusing on the temporary nature of each wave:
Restores a sense of control
Makes intensity feel more manageable
Helps you conserve energy
Labor progresses one contraction at a time.
Why Your Thoughts Matter in Labor
Your brain and body are deeply connected.
When your thoughts signal safety:
Your body can relax
Oxytocin flows more easily
Pain becomes more manageable
Labor often progresses more smoothly
This doesn’t mean you won’t feel intensity—but it changes how that intensity is experienced.
You Can Practice These Thoughts Before Labor
These mental shifts don’t happen automatically under pressure. They work best when they’re practiced during pregnancy.
By learning how to:
Recognize fear-based thoughts
Gently redirect your focus
Stay mentally grounded during intensity
…you can prepare yourself for a calmer, more confident birth experience.
Final Encouragement
You don’t need to eliminate pain to cope well in labor.
You don’t need perfect thoughts or constant calm.
You just need supportive, grounding thoughts that help your body feel safe enough to do what it already knows how to do.
Want Help Training Your Mind for Birth?
If you want guided tools to:
Reduce fear of labor pain
Practice calming thought patterns
Stay focused and grounded during contractions
My Fearless and Focused Birthing course is designed to help you prepare mentally and emotionally for labor—so fear doesn’t get the final word.
✨ Because what you think in labor matters.
